How to break up without feeling any pain

People come and go in our lives for a reason, a season or for a lifetime! What happens when the break up comes sooner than expected?

We all wish that all the people that are in our lives stay in our life permanently. For most people, separations are extremly painful or unconceiveable even. That's because we were educated since childhood on how to interact with people, but not how to end a relationship when there's no more harmony in it. But we've seen examples around us of people who end up still living together, without being even friends anymore.

Why does it get to an end?

Life is a continuous movement and so are people. Ever since we are born, we reinvent ourselves constantly and we wish more and more to head our supreme sense of self. Some people come into our lives to reveal what we have inside, which we can't express by ourselves: happiness, self confidence, success, love etc.

People represent sources of energy for ourselves and for the rest of the people. Pretty words like: joy, harmony, balance, prosperity, achievement, fullfillment, happiness can't become part of our reality, as long as we don't use the energy we got and we try to steal it from others.

If the way people interact is unpleasant, people tend to try and fix it at first, but then they put an end to that relationship.

Who suffers?

Suffering is, for sure, shared by both parts that fall apart. The one who leaves suffers because: separating is not a thing compatible with our nature, but instead they reactivate the rejection wounds and tend to have a runaway behavior. The one who is left is mostly dominated by ego which confirms their wounds since childhood, or it is related to vanity: it was ME who was rejected?

Suffering is a choice and we can avoid taking this choice!

What to do after a break up?

There are two options:

1. wait for time to heal
2. observ and take action in recovery. This option enables you to learn the lesson you just got and move on, without leaving deep traces on your soul, on the contrary: to clean your soul and improve it, make it more beautiful and healthy for the future people who will show up in your life.

Even if we were not taught how to deal with separation, but to become even more attached to our suffering caused by it, we can efficiently succeed to heal, to learn our lesson or to move on to the next level of our life, which will be more fullfilling.

First step: confrontation

Instead of denying that this has happened to you, even if it's really hard for you, you can accelerate the process of healing, by confronting the situation. This is the best thing to do, even though it might seem the most harmful. It's important to confront that: you have a lesson of life to learn, you are suffering, the reason of this pain. You even have to face the fact that this relationship has come to an end, due to how it worked lately and you can't fix anything at the same level. This first step is intense and full of emotions that you need to release. It's time to express it all  and avoid self-destructive activities (alcohol, drugs etc.). Now it's time to become your own best friend, to know yourself better, to spend more time with yourself.

The second step: accepting

Accepting meaning embracing reality. Nobody is guilty, you just needed to experience a life lesson in order for you to evolve.

The third step: understanding the life lesson

Life guides us always towards what's good for us, even if the path is sometimes full of obstacles provided by our fears, wounds or thoughts. But this whole path teaches us how to grow older. Some people don't pay attention to their own needs until they reach pain. This step is good for re-discovering yourself and regaining self confidence and start loving yourself.

The fourth step: move on!

This means starting to live life at the fullest! At its best! Taste it, by paying attention and seeing joy in anything.

There's no recipe for every individual's path, but we can adjust the link above according to ourselves. In our way of separating, we need a major quality: courage! Choose to believe in yourself, in what you really are, in your ability to live life to the fullest and you will open the gates for people who are willing to know your wonderful soul. Choose to know who you are and why you are here. And then, don't hide what you discovered. Reveal it for the world, express your beauty towards others, with passion and love!

This video below might make you ponder about people in your life: